I Am Not The Beatles

Click above for big pictures, click below to play me…

“I’m not sayin’ I’m the Prayin’ kind…” Harold hollers authoritatively like a doddery old vicar standing in the pulpit who, despite having been told a million times that the microphone in front of him is actually on, doesn’t understand the technology and so still insists upon shouting at his congregation.

What happens next is strange…

Harold recites a reasonably exhaustive list of the 21 people he does actually pray for - which begs the question what kind of weird religious sect does Harold belong to where mentioning this many people in your prayers still does not really make you count yourself as “the Prayin’ kind ?” Do all the other members of his church all list more than 21 people in their prayers? That’s some pretty serious Professional Prayin’.

Before he launches into his list, he also makes the rather rash claim that he leaves “nobody out” in his prayers. If you’re Harold’s cousin this is the kind of statement that is likely to really to piss you off - as you don’t get a look in.

So who does he pray for ?

Well, first up are his immediate family members : his mother, father, sister and brother.

Then there are the more general categories. These, in no particular order, are : the old, the tired, the weak, the helpless, the lame, Indian chiefs ( I am presuming here that he didn’t mean to say ‘chefs’), the meek, the poor, the hungry, the tired, rich men, poor men, beggars, thieves, doctors, mutes and lawyers.

So if you’re a thief you’re alright – Harold’s Prayin’ for you - but if you’re an Estate Agent, you’re damned. Well, unless you are a meek or poor Estate Agent of course – but that doesn’t seem very likely.

My favourite one on the list though is ‘the tired’.

”Why can’t they sleep ?” he innocently enquires.

Believe me Harold, if you walk up to an insomniac at four in the morning and ask them that, you’re likely to get punched in the face.

Is it Any Good ?

Yeah, it’s alright I suppose – as long as you don’t mind being shouted at for three and half minutes over a half arsed musical approximation of Don’t Leave Me This Way.

Where Are They Now ?

The men with the very shiny foreheads are here :

http://www.aaeg.com/bluebio.htm

They are playing at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles on 21st July alongside The Stylistics, The Delfonics and The Three Degrees if you’re in the area. Prices start at £12.50.

Anyway, there is of course a bloody good reason why this remix sounds like Don’t Leave Me This Way.

Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes were the first band to record that song in 1975… and this remix of Prayin’ was released in the same year that The Communards also had an enormous hit with their rather fantastic version of Don’t Leave Me This Way - so this was presumably hastily remixed and then released to try and cash in.

Fascinatingly, that mention of the Communards in the last paragraph is Jimi Somerville’s third personal mention in the past four posts. God knows why.

I am obviously developing some sort of fetish and I think I need help – of the Prayin’ kind.

Money Update

Cost : 8 pence

Current Value : The best song on here by miles thus far, is lovely Sonya Grier’s fabulous Love Flight 109.

Quite rightly, it was also the most valuable too, clocking in at a rather magnificent 13 pounds and 17 pence. Well, sadly, it is not the most valuable anymore : The original version of Prayin’ released in 1979 is worth pretty much nothing, but I can only find two copies of this 1986 remix anywhere - apparently it is considered some sort of lost Northern Soul ‘classic’. The cheapest one is… brace yourselves… 14 pounds. This is just enough to buy myself Harold’s cheapest concert ticket - but not quite enough for the flight to LA.

Current Profit : 58 pounds and forty eight pence. We almost leapfrog the fifties with one athletic leap.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 3:19 pm and is filed under I Am Quite Famous, Reformed, Obsessive. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.