Luba - The Best Is Yet To Come - 1986 - Capitol
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me…
Read her name and the song title again in your best Denim Aftershave voice… then admit it : any record that sounds like the name of, and tagline for, a new product trying to end the years of dominance of KY Jelly deserves to be heard.
After all this initial excitement, it certainly puts you off your stroke to discover that the cover photo makes Luba look like a heavily made up Hen Party version of Laura Palmer - mere moments after her partied out, lifeless body is pulled from the river.
This is a cut price Asda remix of that famous homicide - as Luba’s head appears to be lolling out the top of a cheap ripped black plastic bin liner, rather than that classy stronger see-through stuff used in Twin Peaks.
If you’ve got the stomach for it, you will need to click on the record sleeve above to see the final horrific detail of the crime :
Yes, she was murdered in her pyjamas.
Also according to the cover, this song is from a famous film I’ve never seen called 9 1/2 weeks. I think I know the basic premise though - two people rampantly shag each other, sometimes with the exciting addition of fruit, for presumably… 9 1/2 weeks.
At least, I presume that’s why it’s called 9 1/2 weeks. As I say, I’ve never seen it. It is certainly possible that it actually stands for the exact point in their relationship where the woman confronts her lover with a positive pregnancy test - and the man curses himself for remembering to buy the organic strawberries and freeze the sodding ice cubes, but forgetting to buy the condoms.
I will thus presume this music was used over a film sequence of two people indulged in a nice bit of soft focus rumpy pumpy. It must logically follow therefore that I would like it to be sensitive, sexy, a little suggestive and making no use of the phrase ‘as we clear the runway’.
I bet it sounds like ‘Take My Breath Away’ though.
Well? Does it ?
Surprisingly, no.
It’s a bit more skippy and bouncy than that, but with a vocal not so much phoned in as bathed in : Yes, Luba initially sounds like she is disconnectedly singing to herself in the bath.
She might have got away with it too, but unfortunately this bath has been run for her by Daniel Lanois. Now, as anyone who has bathed with young Daniel before will know : although he likes to have lots of expensive luxurious bubble bath spilling all over the side, his baths very often have no real depth.
You jump in excitedly and….. it’s bubbles, all the way down.
Having just had her first verse swamped by Daniel’s disappointing bubbles, Luba bravely dries herself off, steadies herself and launches wilfully into the best chorus she can muster.
The only problem is : It’s not much of one
So our now obviously bored Daniel turns his attention to a fascinating nearby toilet whose flush has been mysteriously labeled :
” Auto Production : What’s Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner ‘.
Eyeing a few tempting hours off, he hastily flushes it… then buggers off to the nearest wine bar, waiting for the record to finish.
All. By. Itself.
Was The Best Yet To Come ?
Oh - Ho !
Yes it was : Luba is actually incredibly easy to track down. This is partly due to the fact that this was apparently actually the theme tune to 9 1/2 weeks. Imagine going to the cinema and hearing this song over the opening credits : The Best Is Yet To Come. You would bloody hope so wouldn’t you? The film hasn’t even started.
Anyway, there is loads of information about Luba on Wikipedia :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luba_%28singer%29
Although it does all get a bit Bucks Fizz halfway through :
“ Shortly after the album release, the band was involved in a serious accident (she was not on board the bus at the time) that nearly killed several members, leading Luba to take some time off. “
What else? Well, not unlike that dastardly duo Rock and Hyde, Luba is Canadian and she was astoundingly successful in her native country. She won best Female Vocalist at the Juno’s in 1985, 1986, and 1987. Whether this was a similar situation to the Kate Bush / Annie Lennox conundrum regularly faced by The Lazy Brits for 20 years is, however, unclear.
What do mean, what’s a Juno ?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juno_Award
Most importantly though Luba is still going strong(…ish). This is proven by some nice new sparkly songs at her myspace page. The following link does come with a warning though : it is impossible to click on it without exclaiming, ” Ooooh, I love her hair.”
Told you.
And what about Extreme Bubble Bath User, Daniel Lanois ? Here he is :
http://www.daniellanois.com/home.htm
” Take the piss all you like, ” the opening photo seems to be saying, ” I’m fucking loaded. ”
Money Update
Cost : 8 pence
Current Value : Gosh, she has released shedloads of records - including a version of Percy Sledge’s ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’. God, I bet that’s awful. Anyway, to the job in hand. Once again, the fact that my copy was made in the UK inflates the price…. to a really quite staggering 5 pounds and 31 pence. Yes! This pips Nazz into third place almost immediately, as it is now the second most expensive record thus far. I wonder if Daniel will buy it off me? He doesn’t mention it at all on his quite extensive website, perhaps he needs reminding.
Current Profit : We are ten records in and we smash through the 30 pound barrier. The profit stands at a rather healthy 32 gorgeous pounds and 48 lovely pence - Who’d a thought ?
EDIT : Correction in ‘Corrections and Clarifications’. Did you spot the mistake ?
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