Rockin’ Sidney - My Toot Toot - 1985 - Jinn Records
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me…
Rockin’ Sidney wants a word with you.
Why ? What’s wrong ?
He fears you may be of a disposition to start messing with his Toot Toot.
I will admit that I have certainly been tempted to have a quick fiddle… it’s been ages since I squeezed one of those.
Well, I am afraid on this occasion Sidney would really prefer it if you kept your dirty wandering hands to yourself, or he warns of some rather serious repercussions - generally involving your face.
If he is that upset about it I will certainly do my best to control my groping fingers - but could you pass on that it would really help me if he stopped playing with it so enticingly close to my grasping range. I’m only human after all.
Errr…. that isn’t his Toot Toot.
It’s isn’t ?
No, that is his accordion. Although, to be fair, he probably doesn’t really want you messing about with that either – it looks dreadfully expensive.
Well if that isn’t his Toot Toot… what is ?
Apparently, ‘My Toot Toot’ is a colloquial Cajun expression derived from the French ‘Tout‘ meaning ‘All, Whole Everything’ which thus extrapolates into Sidney’s ‘Best Girl’.
How the hell do you know that ?
Errr…. he told me so… on the very helpful back cover.
Gosh, that is helpful - and also very forward thinking on Sidney’s part as it certainly cuts down on any forthcoming research. So who is this best girl he definitely isn’t waving around in front of my face and doesn’t want me to mess with ?
He doesn’t actually specify a name, but my best guess is that he is referring to his daughter.
But I’ve never even met his daughter.
That doesn’t seem to matter. If I were you I would take this as a warning purely on the off chance that you ever do. She is obviously a bit of a looker as mere moments after she was born the doctor who delivered her was so overcome with desire, he slapped her playfully on the arse and said, “You’re going to be special, you sweet little Toot Toot.”
That’s a bit forward for a doctor isn’t it ?
Yes it is. But we can only assume that such is the power of her outstanding beauty… men just can’t help themselves.
Then I consider myself forewarned and I thank you - but in the unlikely event that I ever do one day stumble across this mystifyingly irresistible daughter of his and am utterly overcome with a Devo-like Uncontrollable Urge to inspect the contents of her underpants, what advice would you give ?
Sidney is actually quite helpful in this regard too - as he makes it very clear that if such a situation should ever arise you should deflect your completely understandable desire elsewhere and… have the other woman in his life instead.
Errr… who’s that ?
His wife, presumably.
He would prefer it if I fucked his wife ?
It seems so, yes. Apparently you can have her as frequently as you wish – and simultaneously quite openly ogle his daughter as much as you like if the mood so takes you. But if you as much as touch her throughout this whole wife fucking process, you have crossed a very serious line in Sidney’s book and… you’re gonna have yourself a case.
‘Have myself a case?’… Is that yet another tedious colloquial Cajun expression ?
No. It just rhymes with I’m gonna break your face.
Bloody hell. What a weird morality.
Just How Rockin’ Is Sidney ?
Not very.
This should come as no real surprise however - as just about every person who has ever felt the need to prefix their real name with the word Rockin’ is usually about as close to actually being Rockin’ as all those dreadfully annoying people who describe themselves as being a people person are close to actually being any good with people.
I Already Know This Song, And It’s Shit
Of course you do.
But, importantly, Sidney actually wrote it – and this is the original version he recorded and produced himself in his own bedroom at home… he even played all the instruments. As such, musical law states that this must be infinitely superior to all those other versions that have forced themselves upon us over the years.
Other people obviously agree, as this version of this song actually won him a Grammy in 1985.
Good God. Really ?
Yes. Really.
OK, just like Working Week’s Too Much Time it would certainly have benefited with the addition of a second verse, but if you force yourself to sit through it more than once it does have it charms.
It helps that Sidney can’t really sing – coming across rather like a Cajun inspired Ian Dury - as when he then threatens to do that aforementioned face breaking thing, if you are playing this song too loudly you may well recoil away from the speakers in sheer terror so much does he sound like He Really Bloody Means It.
Where Is Sidney Now ?
He will tootle no more.
In an I Am Not The Beatles coincidence that has quite literally just scared the crap out of me, at the time of writing this he died exactly ten years ago… tomorrow :
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=11610051
Yes, it seems that his daughter’s husband got so utterly pissed off with her father’s overprotective meddling in their sex life and resulting endless attempts to pimp out his own wife - he got him killed.
What A Sad Story.
It is.
However, when he was still with us, it seems Sidney was actually alot more Rockin’ that I originally gave him credit for.
This is by far his most famous song and it made him shedloads of money - with his version selling over a million copies worldwide, and countless other cover versions flying around all over the place - but it is also a song that is incredibly unlike the rest of Sidney’s other really rather lovely but sadly pretty much unavailable early work. Why not have a listen to The Officially Rockin’ You Ain’t Nothing But Fine when he was the singer of Count Rockin’ Sidney and The Dukes in the 60’s - it sounds uncannily like Jonathan Richman :
http://musik.hilfe-forum.eu/yt.php?v=pXa3ACCGvF0
As well as recording rather good records himself, he also had his own Very Trendy Record Company called Bold at the same time which released bloody obscure but brilliant soul music. Follow the next link and download (Real Audio) Charles Carlson’s Don’t Want To Sit Down about half way down the page - you won’t regret it :
http://www.melingo.com/thesoulnet/ridley.htm
As fascinating as all this is however, the most important fact about Sidney is…he used to wear a turban :
http://www.lib.unc.edu/mss/sfc1/goldband/artists/count_sidney/
What Happened Next ?
He went all Zydeco on us.
Have no idea what Zydeco is ? Don’t worry, I didn’t either until about two seconds ago :
http://www.carencrohighschool.org/LA_Studies/B_Creole/celebration.htm
So, Sidney’s musical life in miniature runs thus : first he was rather Rockin’ but basically unknown… then he definitely wasn’t Rockin’ at all but a bit more well known, then he wrote his life changing song, won that Grammy, generally had a rather nice time on the back of it all, and… errrr… died.
I think we’d all be quite happy with that.
If you want to know a little more, you could do alot worse than pop off to a very old blog post from 2005 at a place called Funky 16 Corners :
Incidentally, this last link goes to show what an internet virgin I really am - as I don’t think I even knew what a blog was in 2005.
Before I Die I Really Want To Hear This Song Played And Sung By John Fogerty from Creedence Clearwater Revival, With Sidney Playing His Very Expensive Accordion In The Background. Is This Possible ?
Yes it is.
Today is your lucky, yet unfortunately dying, day :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ0B6V3fUcw
Money Update
Cost : 8 pence
Current value : I wasn’t holding out alot of hope… but incredibly most people want in the region of ten quid for this because it’s on the Jinn label, before the song was bought up and re-released by Epic. The cheapest is a rather respectable 5 pounds and 7 pence - which didn’t break my face exactly, but it certainly broke my expectation threshold.
This means he is currently just behind poor murdered Luba, and just in front of that naughty Mr Duffy in the value chart. Oh by the way, both of these two records may well have had updates since you last looked…
Current Profit : 170 pounds and 38 pennies. Rockin’.
Supporting Cast Update : Devo ; Fogerty, John ; Creedence Clearwater Revival ; Richman, Jonathan
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