I Am Not The Beatles

Click above for big pictures, click below to play me…

Obviously bored with the modern style of government - based rather tediously as it is on a theory of ever evolving democracy being consistently informed by thousands of years of learnings - J M Silk would like to make a suggestion.

Why don’t we, he posits, Let The Music Take Control ?

What A Bold Idea!

Alarm bells should immediately start ringing when you consider the medium he has chosen to convey his manifesto with ie via the wondrous possibilities of song. This is not a new idea of course as in the 1500’s when - if you can imagine such a terrifying thought - not just the internet but mass printing itself didn’t exist, political theories and news were highly illegally sold in pamphlets called broadsides (a word which would, eventually, morph itself into the much more acceptable broadsheet).

These broadside papers, made by manually stamping them with ink laden woodcuts, would be sung aloud by the pedlars who sold them on the street. No musical notation was included upon them as the people purchasing them couldn’t read music so, if you bought one – as you could have done in 1513 after the battle of Flodden – you would have not just been expected to return home with the information that James IV the king of Scotland had recently died, but you would also have been given marks out ten by your family on the choice of tune you used to convey the news.

Interestingly, it is here where historians suspect that children’s embarrassment with their culturally out of touch parents first came into being - as the parent would undoubtedly have chosen a classic form of folk tune to sing… whilst the kids were all busily broadsiding each other in their respective playgrounds with a nu-folk-rap-crunk hybrid.

Things have obviously moved on alot since then but also, in many ways, they have regressed as music has become more self referential. When Sister Sledge, for example, inform us that they are Lost In Music the fact that cannot be ignored is that they are currently lost in their own music and – in that moment on the dancefloor when we realise that really isn’t such a bad place to be – so are we.

The same goes for J M Silk, as he doesn’t just want any old music to take control of the world of course… he wants his own to do so.

What Would His Radical Melody Based Society Look Like ?

It would certainly be progressive, with accountability for people’s lives rigorously decentralised away from the corridors of power and placed firmly upon the shoulders of the individuals concerned. Indeed, so decentralised would this form of governance be, it can be hard to find J M Silk suggesting his music take responsibility for pretty much any part of your life whatsoever.

The welfare state would need to be substantially reduced for a start, putting it very much in line with the American model, with your own mental and physical health being left very much up to you. Sure, the music would forever be rumbling away like traffic noise in the background being in control of The Big Stuff, but you would need to put your own problems aside, you would need to find your own solutions to any problems you may face and you would need to find a way to get your own body moving across any floor which required navigating - no matter what your personal physical circumstances may actually be.

Although this may seem harsh for people previously reliant upon state provided wheelchairs for their propulsion, there would however be a plus side - as if you could walk then doing so would suddenly be alot more fun with you letting the music take control of moving your feet, presumably meaning we would all be suddenly strutting around our city centres in the style of John Travolta dancing in Saturday Night Fever.

This one definite improvement to our lifestyle though is actually just an illusion of extra freedom, as the important word here is ‘let’. So in reality you would be nothing more than a hollow and passive conduit who lets the music do this kind of thing to you – as well as loads of other of stuff… some of which you may not necessarily be that keen on.

Such As ?

You, as a member of the new society, would be expected to make the DJ give you more.

Remembering that when he says ‘music’ J M Silk is actually referring to himself (and he is, from memory, also of course a DJ), we can only thus presume that is his rhythm he wants to have seducing your body and who expects this to lead onto him giving you a really bloody good grooving – before he then finally jacks himself all over your body.

That Doesn’t Sound Very Pleasant.

J M Silk claims that such an experience will actually leave your body crying out for more but I, like you, have some serious doubts.

More worryingly, he also says that in order for you to be best placed to mentally accept being grooved and jacked upon in a such a manner, his music would - at some point - have to move your very soul.

Errr… Where ?

He doesn’t say - but let’s face it, if creating an entire new society which turns you into an unthinking soulless automaton is the only way J M Silk can ever see himself getting laid, then he can’t really be very much of a looker.

Is J M Silk Very Much Of A Looker ?

You can make up your own mind by looking at pictures of him attending DiscoNautica 2008, here :

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/3v6c9BfMRtokb3xSCowxnA

No matter what your opinion of him is however, let us all be clear on one point - he is certainly more of a catch than poor old DJ Shark who attended the same event :

http://tinyurl.com/5jofh5

 

Tell Me More About J M Silk…

Steve ‘Silk’ Hurley - as he also calls himself - is very famous and one of the founding members of the Chicago House Scene.

Want to remind yourself of how brilliant his classic Jack Your Body is ? It is, I warn you now, not just fabulous in an oh so retro way - but totally fucking brilliant full stop :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQcg-dRg5h4

Want to hear a 1992 ambient remix ? It is rather like luxuriating in a bath full of bubbles made purely out of Steve’s jack :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5SL-Lrk-Y

Want to hear the kind of music our Steve was influentially playing on his radio show on Chicago’s WBMX in 1985 ? It’s all rather fun :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26K89VK2KAw&feature=related

Anyway, he is still grooving along quite merrily - winning a Grammy here and performing a set there -  so why not find out loads more stuff about the lovely Steve both at Wikipedia and his own website :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_%22Silk%22_Hurley

http://www.silkmix.com/

So If The Music Isn’t In Control ? What Actually Is ?

Michel Foucault’s analysis of modern society concludes that we live in a Society Of Control, via a series of what he terms ‘enclosures’. He argues that to ensure we are never given true freedom - and to prevent anarchy - these enclosures always fence us in to an obligation within a closed environment.

“The individual never ceases passing from one closed environment to another, each having its own laws: first the family; then the school (”you are no longer in your family”); then the barracks (”you are no longer at school”); then the factory; from time to time the hospital; possibly the prison, the pre-eminent instance of the enclosed environment. It’s the prison that serves as the analogical model: at the sight of some laborers, the heroine of Rossellini’s Europa ‘51 could exclaim, “I thought I was seeing convicts.”

http://www.nadir.org/nadir/archiv/netzkritik/societyofcontrol.html

So no one person is in charge - but corporations are and, in an instance of mass collusion which is in it’s own way a remix of JM Silk’s suggestion (ie Let The Corporations Take Control), we consciously allow this to continue despite the fact that they endlessly treat us like convicts (or soulless automatons).

After all, putting corporations in place to manage and police the fabric of our society is a very sensible thing to do - as a corporation sees no reason to emote, always follows the rules and outlives actual people, thus ensuring a longer term security for our species as a whole.

Well, unless some sort of credit crunch occurred due to a lack of regulation which then destabilised the banking system leading to the destruction of corporations to such an incredibly large degree that the very foundations of our fragile society - which likes to give the illusion of being immovable and eternal - started to shake, before falling down around our ears.

But then, that doesn’t seem very likely does it ?

Money Update

Cost : 8 pence. Want to hear the 12” ?  It goes on a bit :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vlNE3exwtQ 
Current Value : 93 pence.
Current Profit : 218 pounds and 70 pence. I let the music take total control… and the music let me down.

Supporting Cast Update : James IV; Sister Sledge; Foucault, Michel; Travolta, John

Click above for big pictures, click below to play me…

Dull, boring and tedious may be your generally disappointing day to day experience of the miracle of life - but it could be a whole lot worse. Imagine, for example, a world within which we can only dream.

Freed from the monotony of the mind numblingly mundane, this new constant dreamstate your randy brain suddenly found itself in would admittedly create the odd completely brilliant day where your current hollywood crushes, entire boy/girlbands and that cute new temp in the office all one by one revealed the tantalising secrets of their underpants to you with a rather pleasing regularity.

But whilst dreaming of such things happening may make David Valentine’s theory seem initially tempting, it wouldn’t really be the entire story - as most the time of course, your dreams are completely bonkers.

Just the other night I dreamt I was being chased down eerily lit corridors by an unexpectedly large and bizarrely bloodthirsty duck. To add to the confusion, this duck also had an alarming propensity to morph into the severed head of a primary school teacher whose name I can’t even remember.

With this in mind, David’s desire to create a new reality where such a thing would be an even remote possibility seems - at the very least - to be highly irresponsible.

Why Does David Want Us To Only Dream ?

He wants to harness the power of the Jungian Collective Subconcious so we can all start dreaming about representing our respective countries in the Commonwealth Games.

After all, David’s subtext appears to be rather rudely suggesting, only dreaming is about as close as your fat lardy arse will probably ever get to it.

Is His Song Much Of An Event ?

It all starts off quite exciting with David doing his best Gary Barlow on a running machine impression, pushing and shoving and huffing and puffing against snare drums the size of Steve Cram’s thighs… but then, just like starting the third lap around a running track, it all suddenly becomes rather repetitive. So much so in fact that you may well find yourself reconsidering your position on this whole dreaming stuff, and instead resort to begging David to turn his song into a nice short 100 metre sprint rather then the long distance event he so clearly desires.

The problem here is that after using the first verse to vex his various minor complaints such as roads not generally being bouncy enough and the fact that every now and again he gets a little bit sweaty, David finally unleashes a ferocious chorus of such muscular enormity and athletic power it could leave you walking funny for weeks.

“Owww,” you may wish to exclaim at this point whilst rubbing your orifice of choice with expectation, “just imagine the state of this after the key change.”

Bloody Hell! There’s A Key Change Too ?

Errr… no - and that’s the problem.

David does absolutely everything else right like writing a ludicrously over the top instrumental which - despite only lasting 13 seconds - still gives the impression of being long enough to win the pole vault without the help of any actual poles, but he then clumsily knocks the metaphorical bar off with his metaphorically musically challenged knees and totally fails to finish the job.

And this is a genuine shame as without that much needed energising key change, We Can Only Dream slowly goes as discoloured and limp as a three week old lettuce leaf attempting to run the London Marathon.

Where Is David Now ?

He is currently in the middle of a self imposed marathon of his very own – as for the past 7 years he has been the resident piano player in this pub on Hope Street, Edinburgh :

http://www.edinburghpubguide.co.uk/PubDetails/Ryans_Bar_82.html

Fun though this sounds, the reviews for the bar itself are strangely subdued. One customer even claims he got refused entry

“…for having a maroon jersey on”

which, whether he likes it or not, seems eminently sensible to me.

When David isn’t tickling his ivories in front of disinterested drinkers who definitely aren’t wearing maroon, he also owns and works as a sound engineer at Heartbeat Studios in the same city :

http://heartbeatstudio.co.uk/index.htm

The illustrious roll call of luminaries who have recorded at Heartbeat include the George Watson’s School Pipe Band :

http://www.gwc.org.uk/pipeband/index.html

Blatant George Watson copyists, the Stewart’s Melville Pipe Band :

http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=2846886265

Ripoffs of the George Watson copyists, The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards :

http://www.scotsdg.co.uk/

And, errr, Nazareth and Runrig :

http://www.nazarethdirect.co.uk/nazareth/?q=node/67

http://www.runrig.co.uk/home.html

Meanwhile, David himself has also recorded at his own studio with his own band who are called RAF and – despite the fact that I (and very possibly you) have never even remotely heard of them – they have historically been signed to Warners and A&M :

http://www.aor-fm.com/bands/805_r_a_f.aspx

In an interesting digression, from their second album onwards RAF were joined by a man called Peter who used to be in Jethro Tull and who now writes music for Melanie C. Click on ‘music’ at the following link to hear some samples :

http://www.peterjohnvettese.com/

Anyway, want to hear some RAF ? Of course you bloody well do :

http://heartbeatstudio.co.uk/raf.htm

Excitingly, David mentions this very record at the link above too, and has even included a streaming interview he did with Radio Scotland at the time.

An Interview! Is It Totally Brilliant ?

It certainly is.

As first of all we learn that David would absolutely hate the possibility of describing this record as an anthem to hope – but then just can’t stop himself from doing so - and he then informs us that one of the people singing along to this huge chorus is previous 200 metre sprint gold medalist… Mr Allan Wells :

http://tinyurl.com/4w8r6o

Are You Sure You Didn’t Just Dream That ?

Absolutely.

There are apparently many ways to make sure you are not currently dreaming, but one of the best is to always have a readily available ‘dream object’ with you. The idea is that each and every time you look at or fiddle with your dream object you do a test to see if you are dreaming or not - and logically, seeing as you are always in your own dreams, there is bound to be a point where you do this test only to find you are dreaming so you can then immediately take conscious control of it.

It is generally recommended that the test you choose involves you trying to do both something you can’t do when you are dreaming and then something that you can.

So, seeing as

a) I have just managed to read these very words on my computer screen (normally impossible in a dream apparently), and

b) nobody I fancy has just walked through the door and immediately sat on my face

it appears I am most definitely awake and that, yes, I am currently rather sadly listening to Allan Wells singing.

http://tinyurl.com/538tpv

“Lucid dreams are those in which a person becomes aware that he is dreaming. As he realises this the character of the dream changes, and as long as he remains in his state, he continues to be in a lucid dream”

How Would I Lucid Dream If We Were Only Dreaming ?

Worryingly, Swama Krishnananda says you probably already are only dreaming (or even possibly only being dreamt) - as he claims that life and conciousness are so bizarre we can never truly be sure that being awake is real, let alone being asleep. In essence, he says that seeing as we cannot extricate ourselves from either state and view them disconnectedly from the outside we cannot really prove their (or indeed our own) existence :

http://www.swami-krishnananda.org/disc/disc_91.html

“How do I know that I am awake just now? Why should I raise a question like this, unless there is a difficulty involved in it? Have you any proof to establish that you are now in the waking state? There is no proof, because all proof arises after you have the certainty and indubitably of the fact of your being awake.”

 

So David Went To All The Trouble Of Recording This Record Only For It Not To Exist ?

Yes.

But, hey, that’s life.

Errr… possibly.

Money Update

Cost : 8 pence

Current Value : 2 pounds and 11 pence

Current Profit : 217 pounds and 84 pence. It is, as David rightly points out, a hard road.

Supporting Cast Update : Jethro Tull; C, Melanie; Barlow, Gary, Jung, Karl