I Am Not The Beatles

Click above for big pictures, click below to play me…

The Song

It starts rudely : with an unannounced, unflattering and frankly unnecessary couple of bars of cheap electronic snare. Georgio himself looks pretty enough - if not exactly trustworthy -but sings like a sexually frustrated and emotionally frigid George Michael drunkenly rogering an old Prince b-side at his local Karaoke.

After much grunting and sub standard Michael Jacksonesque ‘Huh’ing - over a bassline that probably once considered itself to be the very essence of sex, but now just sounds a bit silly - Georgio finally reaches his climax in the middle 8 :

“Baby, “ he breathily enquires of his lover “Do you like it?”

Before any reply is forthcoming however, he inexplicably shouts

“Well if it feels that damn good baby, LET ME HEAR YOU SCREAM”

as if mutating himself into a pantomime Patrick Bateman who is unfortunately ejaculating a) prematurely, and b) in his own pants.

Warning : Contains cowbells.

Georgio Update

Sadly, it is only bad news so far : despite scouring the internet there seem to be no up to date sources for this man who was Not The Beatles.

There is a write up at the link below where the word ‘perhaps’ has, perhaps, never been used more appropriately :

http://www.discogs.com/artist/Georgio+(2)

“Perhaps he could have been bigger if it hadn’t been for his somewhat hypertrophied and tiring ego, which leaded him to repeatedly claim he was a genius… “

If you’re really desperate for some more one on one Georgio action, you can also buy his Greatest Hits album from Amazon.

On the downside, there is no track listing and the cover has a slightly creepy picture of him bearing his chest. On the upside, however, there is one review from Georgio’s biggest fan which makes use of some nice CAPITAL LETTERS :

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Appeal-Georgio/dp/B000008FZC

“Multi-talented GEORGIO is the first since STEVIE WONDER and RICK JAMES to pick up multiple instruments and do-it-all,themselves. Like PRINCE,he happens to have that look and body too. Unlike PRINCE,he hits with dance/house music while PRINCE does funk/pop/rock. “

Crushingly for Georgio, however, the reviewer follows this up with:

“I sold my CD.”

Ouch.

Money update

Cost : 8 pence

Current value : Well, the rules are if I cannot find a copy of the 7″ single selling anywhere on the internet then I move into negative equity. (Please see The Rules for a full explanation)

There is someone ebaying the 12 inch single in the USA for a quite optimistic $1.99, but that is all I can find. Frankly, I’m gutted to start so badly, I was convinced this was a money maker. My first post, and I move into minus territory…

Current profit : A very disappointing minus 8 pence