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<channel>
	<title>I Am Not The Beatles</title>
	<link>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com</link>
	<description>Where Every Record Cost Me 8 Pence</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:08:57 +0000</pubDate>
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			<item>
		<title>Millions Like Us - In Love With Yourself - 1988 - Circa</title>
		<link>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=793</link>
		<comments>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=793#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:42:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>I Am Not The Beatles</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Wants His Own Pants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=793</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;

 
&#8221; Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=796"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/in-love-with-yourself-front.thumbnail.jpg" alt="In Love With Yourself - Front" /></a></p>
<p>Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;</p>
<p align="right" style="text-align: left" class="MsoNormal"></p>
<p align="right" style="text-align: left" class="MsoNormal"> <img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><em><span lang="EN-GB">&#8221; Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being &#8220;in love&#8221; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. When all the pretty blossom falls from our branches we hope to find that we are one tree and not two. &#8221; </span></em></p>
<p align="right" style="text-align: right" class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><strong>Louis De Bernières</strong></span></p>
<p align="right" style="text-align: right" class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></span></p>
<p align="right" style="text-align: right" class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">I am a man and, as such, it turns out that 99.9% of all the important life decisions I have made were - in retrospect- actually made by a selfish appendage of mine which couldn’t give a toss about me either way.</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">No matter how much of a pull my penis has had on my overall state of wellbeing however, and no matter when and where it may have been historically tugged, it is fair to say that it has never actually tugged at my heartstrings.</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">The lead singer of <em>Millions Like Us</em> is very different, as <em>In Love With Yourself</em> is essentially one man&#8217;s paean to his own penis - and is sung by a chap who is <em>so </em>profoundly in love with his manhood you get the feeling that, if he could, he would slip a ring around it and take it up the aisle.</span></span><span lang="EN-GB"> </span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB">Musically his song jerks along in quite a nice <em>Funky Town</em>ish sort of way, albeit this being more of an ominously onanistic <em>Sp</em></span><span lang="EN-GB"><em>unkyTown </em>with the overwhelming whiff of crusty underpants forever hanging in the air, but hey at least the man’s in love with<em> something</em>.<span lang="EN-GB"> </span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><em><span lang="EN-GB">“That look in your eyes - how can you criticise this love ?” </span></em><span lang="EN-GB">he initially croons breathlessly at his girlfriend as she apparently walks in - and then rapidly out - on him having discovered him obsessively attempting to make pretty blossom fall from his branch for the fifth time that day.</span></span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></span><span lang="EN-GB">He can’t even keep his hands off his naughty nether’s when he’s trying to get to sleep - explaining that he <em>lies beside </em>it<em> day and night just to get the feeling right</em> - but once we reach the middle 8 his over indulgences seem to burn not just the skin from his palms but also the<em> love</em> away, as his penis starts to not play ball at all.</span><span lang="EN-GB"> </span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB">For it is in this middle 8 where, after spurting out a few lines suggesting that his eternal passion is causing some sort of erectile dysfunction, he finally concludes <em>“I don’t understand it when you go elsewhere”</em> - expressing jealousy to his own mountainous man part when, in those increasingly rare moments that both it and his right hand aren’t entwined together, it might actually get a crack at <em>someone else</em>.</span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">A <em>someone else</em> incidentally which we can only hope <em>there is no room for no-one else</em> in at the time.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-weight: bold" class="Apple-style-span">Hang On A Minute. If There&#8217;s <em>No Room For No-One</em>, Doesn’t That Logically Mean There Must Be<em> Some Room For Someone </em>?</span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><strong><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-weight: normal" class="Apple-style-span">Errr&#8230; possibly -  but semantics aside<span> </span>what I<em> can</em> tell you is that <em>Millions Like Us </em>were a duo containing two nice chaps called John O’ Kane and Jeep Hook and, seeing that they were a duo and I have just listed two of <span> </span>their names in the previous part of this sentence, there is absolutely definitively<em> no room for no-one else</em> on this record.</span></span></strong></span><span lang="EN-GB"> </span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB">Or even <em>someone</em> <em>else</em>.</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-weight: bold" class="Apple-style-span">Did Millions Like Them ?</span></span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-weight: bold" class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><strong><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-weight: normal" class="Apple-style-span">Apparently not - although it is worth noting that </span></span></strong></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">a) <em>someone else</em> at Circa records really really liked John, despite the fact that</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">b) he seems incapable of standing up straight without some sort of external support</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">as <em>Millions Like Us</em> released a few singles and an eponymous album on the label :</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/Millions-Like-Us/dp/B00000DP39" title="Lopsided Standing Excitement">http://www.amazon.com/Millions-Like-Us/dp/B00000DP39</a></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">John then released a few solo singles and an album all of his own :</span><span lang="EN-GB"> </span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"> <a target="_blank" href="http://tinyurl.com/yd2nyrh" title="This Time I'm Going To Lean Against A Wall">http://tinyurl.com/yd2nyrh</a></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">before he finally guested on Julia Fordham’s single ‘<em>Where Does The Time Go?&#8217; </em></span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">as That Bloke Who Sang The Words ‘<em>Does Anyone Know?’</em>:<br />
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.juliafordham.com/looklistenbuy.php" title="And Now... A Tree.">http://www.juliafordham.com/looklistenbuy.php</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And no, nobody did.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: bold" class="Apple-style-span">Where Did John And Jeep Go ?</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">Now that I <em>do </em>know.</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">John is apparently a professional songwriter these days, writing songs for and/or with Tina Turner and Nik Kershaw among others - but whether or not he ever got around to baptising Abraham Lincoln is a bit more controversial  :</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.therestorationmovement.com/okane2.htm" title="Baptismal Controversy Ahoy">http://www.therestorationmovement.com/okane2.htm</a></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">I can only presume he is still merrily writing songs for other people by the way as he has rather dropped of the radar, with the last mention I can find of him being when he was matched up with Nanna Larsen in some sort of Songwriter Swap Shop situation in 2006 :</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.prsfoundation.co.uk/news/kodapartnership.htm" title="John Thankfully Sitting Down."> http://www.prsfoundation.co.uk/news/kodapartnership.htm</a></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"> Want to hear some Nanna ? It’s all very pleasant :</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.myspace.com/nannalarsen" title="Nanna's Overcomplicated Myspace Page"> http://www.myspace.com/nannalarsen</a></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">Jeep meanwhile played with <em>Talk Talk</em> before joining <em>Millions Like Us, </em>then lived just about everywhere when they split up before finally settling in <city w:st="on"></city>Atlanta in the USA - where he currently runs Hookhouse Studios :</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="www.myspace.com/hookhouse" title="Jeep's Much More Understated Effort">www.myspace.com/hookhouse</a></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB">He is also part of the Faculty at the next link where he has presumably been working closely with Marc Almond, as his main role is stated to be that he ‘<em>masters the CDs of all camp concerts</em>’ :</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.rockandbluescamp.com/faculty.html" title="There Was This One Time. At Band Camp...">http://www.rockandbluescamp.com/faculty.html</a></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">And he also, really rather oddly, has a nifty sideline writing Really Rousing Songs for basketball teams :</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://tunes4teams.com/our_staff.htm" title="GO TEAM">http://tunes4teams.com/our_staff.htm</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://tunes4teams.com/our_staff.htm" title="GO TEAM"></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">All of which must pass the time, as it goes.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><strong>So Where </strong><em><strong>Does </strong></em><strong>The Time Go ? Does Anyone Know ?</strong></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">As I say nobody does know for sure, but if you want to believe the theory of Eternalism - which states that Time has a fully fledged dimension all to itself and isn’t therefore a state of being but contains actual physical directions - then<span> </span>it seems the answer is quite literally a rather large panto-ish shout of <span> </span>“<em>It’s Behind You</em> “ :</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternalism_(philosophy_of_time)" title="Where The Time Went">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternalism_(philosophy_of_time)</a></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-style: italic" class="Apple-style-span">“We apparently fear death because we believe that we will no longer exist after we die. But if Eternalism is correct, death is just one of our temporal borders, and should be no more worrisome than birth.”</span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-style: italic" class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">Unfortunately, although I initially found this to be quite a comforting idea, according to my mother at the moment of <em>my</em> birth I went very red and screamed and cried like a bastard whilst I simultaneously shat myself.</span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB">And - temporal borders or not - this does seem to suggest I may have been slightly worried about it at the time.</span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><span lang="EN-GB"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong><u><span lang="EN-GB"></span></u></strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong><u><span lang="EN-GB">Money Update</span></u></strong></p>
<p><strong><span lang="EN-GB"><small>Cost : </small></span><small></small></strong><small><span lang="EN-GB">8 pence</span></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small></small><small> </small></p>
<p><small><strong><span lang="EN-GB">Current Value</span></strong><span lang="EN-GB"> : 69 pence - a suggestive figure admittedly, but not exactly orgasmic.</span></small></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><small><strong><span lang="EN-GB">Current Profit : </span></strong><span lang="EN-GB">Not millions.</span></small></p>
<p><small><a target="_blank" href="http://248781.spreadshirt.co.uk/men-s-summer-shirt-A11120679/customize/color/21" title="I Am Not Balaam &amp; The Angel"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/t-shirt.jpg" alt="I Am Not Millions Like Us" /></a></small></p>
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			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?feed=rss2&amp;p=793</wfw:commentRss>
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		<item>
		<title>I&#8217;ll Show You Something Special (Ltd Edition Collectors Item) - Balaam &#038; The Angel - 1987 - Virgin</title>
		<link>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=785</link>
		<comments>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=785#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:47:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>I Am Not The Beatles</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Really Rather Pleasant]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[It Has A Gap]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=785</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;

The lead singer of Balaam &#38; The Angel wants to show you something special.
I bet he does.
What&#8217;s more, it is a something that measures 7 inches&#8230;
Then I fear he is about to be sorely disappointed, as in my experience 7 inches is anything but special - it [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=786"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/ill-show-you-something-special-front.thumbnail.jpg" alt="I’ll Show You Something Special - Front" /></a></p>
<p>Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;</p>
<p></p>
<p>The lead singer of Balaam &amp; The Angel wants to <em>show you something special</em>.</p>
<p><strong>I bet he does.</strong></p>
<p>What&#8217;s more, it is a<em> something</em> that measures 7 inches&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>Then I fear he is about to be sorely disappointed, as in my experience 7 inches is anything but <em>special</em> - it takes alot more than that to take the sadness from my smile<em> </em>I promise you.</strong></p>
<p>I think you misunderstand, as the<em> something</em> he is referring to isn&#8217;t his <em>Silver Sword</em>… but his… <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/its-a-silver-record.jpg" title="It's a SILVER RECORD!" target="_blank">SILVER RECORD!</a></p>
<p><strong>He has a <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/its-a-silver-record.jpg" title="A SILVER RECORD! I tell you!" target="_blank">SILVER RECORD!</a> ?</strong></p>
<p>Yes!</p>
<p>It isn&#8217;t a real <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/its-a-silver-record.jpg" title="Just In Case You Missed It" target="_blank">SILVER RECORD! </a>obviously - as that would imply some sort of chart success on this song&#8217;s part - but still, it&#8217;s a nice and shiny distraction away from the musical musings which are contained upon it.</p>
<p><strong>Are these musings <em>something special</em> ?</strong></p>
<p>In as much as sounding not unlike a slightly tipsy ZZ Top can be described as such, yes.</p>
<p><strong>Anything else <em>special</em> to note ?</strong></p>
<p>Yes, two<em> somethings</em> :</p>
<p>Firstly, if you hang around long enough then you are soon rewarded with a gap for you to stop dancing in momentarily - which is always a bonus - and secondly, rarely for a rock record, the <em>something special</em> the lead singer refers to isn&#8217;t actually remotely penis based at all… but emotional : he wants to create a mutual feeling of trust and respect between you both in the hope this may grow and develop naturally into radiant happiness and love.</p>
<p>The big pansy.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>What&#8217;s The Best Bit<em> </em>?</u></strong></p>
<p>The end.</p>
<p>But only because you know that they chose to finish the recorded version of the song in this way just so when they played it live they could wait for a bit… shout &#8220;ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!&#8221;… and then haul themselves back into it all over again.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>What A <em>Special</em> Band Name!</u></strong></p>
<p>It is isn’t it - and, interestingly, if we decide to take as a stone cold fact that the lead singer of Balaam &amp; The Angel&#8217;s penis most definitely really is 7 inches long, then rather ironically</p>
<p>a) He could never be described as being hung like a donkey, despite the fact that<br />
b) The band name is all about donkeys. <em>Talking</em> donkeys.</p>
<p><strong>I Find That Hard To Braylieve&#8230;</strong></p>
<p>Well, here is the story - although for more sensitive readers I should probably warn that the following narrative does contain the mental image of somebody opening <em>&#8220;the mouth of the ass&#8221;.</em></p>
<p>In the Old Testament of The Bible, Balaam was considered a poet and prophet of such high regard that people thought he was directly connected to and spoke with God. As such, it was thus believed that when Balaam blessed items or people they truly <em>were</em> blessed - and conversely those he cursed were truly cursed.</p>
<p>At some point in Balaam&#8217;s life some chap turned up, for reasons unspecified, to ask him if he wouldn&#8217;t mind popping off somewhere to spend a bit of time cursing the entire country of Israel. Balaam said that he <em>would</em> but only if God approved the project first, so he asked God… and lo and behold He <em>did</em> say it was alright - as long as Balaam only cursed things when God said he could and only with the words that God told him to use at the time.</p>
<p>Accepting this caveat Balaam then got on his donkey and started travelling to wherever he was going to do his cursing. However at this point The Angel Of The Lord went a bit rogue and decided to try and stop the cursey Balaam, so he made himself invisible to humans - but crucially not donkeys - and floated about a bit.</p>
<p>This vision of The Angel Of The Lord - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_of_the_Lord" target="_blank" title="I Didn't Know This Either">which after all is a pre-incarnate appearance of Jesus Christ himself</a> - jumping around in front of her face rather unsurprisingly made the donkey stop still in sheer fucking terror… which in turn made Balaam absentmindedly start cursing it with the sort of words that would probably shock even an all knowing God, and which therefore He would never have signed off in the first place.</p>
<p>What happened next, according to the King James Bible, was :</p>
<p><em>&#8220;… the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?&#8221;</em></p>
<p>A slightly pissed off Angel Of The Lord then made himself visible to Balaam and in no uncertain terms told him that the only reason he wasn&#8217;t dead at this present moment was because of his Amazing Talking Ass.</p>
<p>Balaam was thus allowed to get to wherever he was going and tried to start all that railing against Israel which he had been asked to do previously (a process which must surely be known as <em>Israiling</em>), only to<em> then</em> find that God had tricked him a bit and would actually only let him say <em>nice</em> things about the place - such as praising the cleanliness of the beaches and what a nice place it was to go on holiday.</p>
<p>The moral of this tale is apparently that we should always heed God&#8217;s word - although it could also admittedly be that if you want to write a moralistic story which people take remotely seriously, you should probably never have the words &#8216;mouth&#8217; and &#8216;ass&#8217; in anything approaching a close proximity.</p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balaam" target="_blank" title="What I Just Said">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balaam</a></p>
<p><a href="http://cicministry.org/commentary/issue4.pdf" target="_blank" title="An In Depth Look At The Meaning Of It All">http://cicministry.org/commentary/issue4.pdf</a></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Wham! Balaam! I Am! A Man!</u></strong></p>
<p>Unlike a young and lithe George Michael, Balaam &amp; The Angel aren&#8217;t just one man but three - and what&#8217;s more they are all brothers : James, Mark and Des Morris originally from Motherwell in Scotland.</p>
<p>The band was formed in 1984, incredibly 25 years later they are still going, and they are the proud owners of one of the world&#8217;s most initially confusing websites :</p>
<p><a href="http://www.balaamandtheangel.co.uk" target="_blank" title="No Ordinary Angel">http://www.balaamandtheangel.co.uk</a></p>
<p>Want to hear some more ? It&#8217;s all very pleasant - their myspace page is here :</p>
<p><a href="http://www.myspace.com/balaamandtheangel" target="_blank" title="Myspace Excitement">http://www.myspace.com/balaamandtheangel</a></p>
<p>And lots of photos and other stuff is at an unofficial site, here :</p>
<p><a href="http://www.balaamandtheangel.com" target="_blank" title="Pretty Little Angel Eyes">http://www.balaamandtheangel.com</a></p>
<p>Interestingly it turns out the band are quite influential and very entrepreneurial in their own right, as in order to get their songs released they set up their own independent record company in Birmingham called Chapter 22 Records. They didn&#8217;t just keep it for themselves however, they also signed other bands too - which means that without them the world may never well have heard of <a href="http://www.pweination.co.uk/" target="_blank" title="Wise Up! Sucker">Pop Will Eat Itself</a>, <a href="http://www.themissionuk.com" target="_blank" title="Like A Butterfly On A Wheel">The Mission</a> and …errr… <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpio_Rising_(band)" target="_blank" title="I May Or May Not Have Seen This Band Live">Scorpio Rising</a> :</p>
<p><a href="http://www.vinyltap.co.uk/shop/label/Chapter+22.aspx" target="_blank" title="Some Bands Who Signed To Chapter 22">http://www.vinyltap.co.uk/shop/label/Chapter+22.aspx</a></p>
<p>And if - just like that lovely chap over at <a href="http://becausemidwaystillarentcomingback.blogspot.com" target="_blank" title="Indie! Like It Used To Be!">Because Midway Still Aren&#8217;t Coming Back</a> - that is the kind of music which makes you go all wobbly with excitement, this fact alone must surely make Balaam &amp; The Angel <em>Something </em>very <em>Special</em> indeed.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Money Update</u></strong></p>
<p><small><strong>Cost:</strong> 8 pence<br />
<strong>Current Value:</strong> 1 <em>specia</em>l pound and 73 <em>somethings<br />
</em><strong>Current Profit:</strong> 339 pounds and 40 pence.</small></p>
<p><small><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></small></p>
<p><small><strong><a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=121" title="The Supporting Cast Gets Two More Members">Supporting Cast Update : <em>ZZ Top; Michael, George</em></a></strong></small></p>
<p><small><a href="http://248781.spreadshirt.net/en/GB/Shop/Article/Index/article/9756785" target="_blank" title="I Am Not Balaam &amp; The Angel"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/t-shirt.jpg" alt="I Am Not Balaam &amp; The Angel" /></a></small></p>
<p><small>I&#8217;ll show you <em>Something Special </em>:</small></p>
<p><small> </small><small><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQEm37DlsgA" target="_blank" title="Let's Get Ready To Tumble">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQEm37DlsgA</a></small></p>
<p><small></small></p>
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		<title>Give A Little Love For Love - Stylistics - 1985 - Virgin</title>
		<link>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=667</link>
		<comments>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=667#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:30:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>I Am Not The Beatles</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[You Might Not Make It To The End]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Slightly Too Slow]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=667</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;


&#8220;Desire is experienced as a gift : we privilege people with
our desire for them, though they don&#8217;t always recognise
quite what an honour they are being given.&#8221;
Adam Phillips - Terrors and Experts

Love can be many things : a battlefield, a losing game, a many splendoured thing. But [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p align="left"><em><a rel="attachment wp-att-676" href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?attachment_id=676" title="i-am-not-a-t-shirt.jpg"></a> </em><a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=675"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/give-a-little-love-for-love-front.thumbnail.jpg" alt="give-a-little-love-for-love-front.jpg" /></a></p>
<p align="left">Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;</p>
<p align="left"></p>
<p align="left"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p align="right"><em>&#8220;Desire is experienced as a gift : we privilege people with<br />
our desire for them, though they don&#8217;t always recognise<br />
quite what an honour they are being given.&#8221;</em></p>
<p align="right"><strong>Adam Phillips - Terrors and Experts</strong></p>
<div><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></div>
<p>Love can be many things : a battlefield, a losing game, a many splendoured thing. But - no matter what your personal opinion of love may be at this present moment - one thing it always is, is a transaction.</p>
<p>Taking this undeniable fact to its logical conclusion and using a bit of lateral thinking, Stylistics thus wish to make a suggestion designed to help us all during these tough financial times. Instead of giving out money to get the stuff you desire they say, why not <em>give a little love</em> instead?</p>
<p><strong>What A <em>Lovely</em> Idea !</strong></p>
<p>It certainly is.</p>
<p>Unfortunately - rather like your first visit to the prize booth after using the shoddy ticket / reward system employed by amusement arcades on many of Britain&#8217;s piers - the range of products actually available in exchange for your <em>love</em> is disappointingly limited.</p>
<p>Indeed some may suggest that the aforementioned pier system is vastly superior to this <em>lovely</em> suggestion, as at least with that you can walk away with something concrete you didn&#8217;t have before you went in - even if</p>
<p>a) it is a dusty Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles plastic key ring, which<br />
b) cost you nigh on twenty quid - playing as you were on an endless series of shitty fruit machines in order to get enough tokens to acquire it in the first place.</p>
<p>Please be warned then that if you choose to use Stylistics latter method no plastic key rings are available, and that only yet more <em>love</em> can be traded in return for your initial<em> little love</em> outlay.</p>
<p><strong>So I Can&#8217;t <em>Give A Little Love For Oven Chips</em> ?</strong></p>
<p>Much though I would love to say that the freezer section in Sainsburys now recognises <em>a little love</em> as legal tender, I am afraid that the answer is no - which of course makes the idea behind this song less of a transaction… and more of a straight swap.</p>
<p><strong>What A Shame&#8230; I&#8217;m Right Out Of Oven Chips.</strong></p>
<p>On the plus side though there does seem to be an inflationary bonus attached, as you only have to give <em>a little love</em> to Stylistics in order to immediately have the much bigger and better bona fide full on intense why don&#8217;t we move in together<em> love</em> thrown right back in your face.</p>
<p>And although this is admittedly enough to scare just about anybody off who was only making a tentative enquiry, what with all the <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=644" title="He's An Emotional Man.">emotional trauma I&#8217;ve gone through with Falco recently</a> the idea of <em>anybody</em> loving me these days certainly makes a nice change.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>What&#8217;s The Song Like ?</u></strong></p>
<p>Like a mobility scooter on a motorway : dangerously slow.</p>
<p>Indeed,<em> so</em> ponderously does the lead singer express himself to his beloved over the most unhurried backing track in existence, at some points you may well fear the whole thing is about to shudder to a complete halt and start playing itself backwards.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Where Are Those <em>Lovely </em>Stylistics Now ?</u></strong></p>
<p>This is a tricky question to answer as first of all this seems to be the only release by the band which, presumably for some legal reasons involving people leaving, was released with no <em>&#8216;The&#8217;</em> as part of the band name - and secondly because a bit like all that silliness which once afflicted <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=477" title="Life Just Got Crazier">Beggar &amp; Co</a> - there are now actually two bands vaguely bickering over which is the real one.</p>
<p>In one corner we have Russell Thompkins Jr. - an original member of <em>The</em> Stylistics who formed in 1968 and had massive hits such as <em>You Make Me Feel Brand New</em> - now singing alongside three other chaps who were also in <em>The </em>Stylistics and Stylistics at some point (although not necessarily at the same time as Russell) who call themselves The New Stylistics.</p>
<p>Whilst elsewhere we also have another original member called Airrion Love singing alongside three<em> other</em> chaps who may or may not have been in <em>The </em>Stylistics or indeed Stylistics at any point at all… yet performing in a band called The Stylistics.</p>
<p>Confused ? You will be :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stylistics" title="Wikipedia Excitement">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stylistics</a></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Do Stylistics Give Love A Bad Name ?</u></strong></p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>The same cannot be said for the website below however - as it is asking you to share the most intimate private moments of your utterly personal emotional and spiritual experiences of love… in exchange for a sample of some shitty perfume :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.philosophygiveslove.com" title="Love Stinks">http://www.philosophygiveslove.com</a></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Does Anyone Give Oven Chips A Bad Name ?</u></strong></p>
<p>Yes - Jamie Oliver.</p>
<p>As apparently, when he was doing all that DON&#8217;T KILL THE CHILDREN nonsense a few years back, the sales of oven chips in supermarkets plummeted as a direct result. Luckily however, a company called Elmwood were on hand to charge McCain a pretty healthy £40,000 in order to draw some new pictures onto a plastic bag and thus - theoretically - save their frozen arses from collapsing :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://tinyurl.com/psw8b4" title="Can I Fiddle With Your Bag ?">http://tinyurl.com/psw8b4</a></p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.elmwood.com/flash/?#/home/" title="We Are The People Responsible">http://www.elmwood.com/flash/?#/home/</a></p>
<p>Yes, it seems they utterly transformed the product - but only… s<em>tylistically</em>.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Money Update</u></strong></p>
<p><small><strong>Cost :</strong> I <em>give a little</em> 8 pence<br />
<strong>Current Value :</strong> <em>for</em> 2 pounds and 23 pence in return.<br />
<strong>Current Profit :</strong> Gosh - 335 pounds and 75 pence. Which has made me rather chippy.</small><small><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></small></p>
<p><small>Want to hear <em>You Make Me Feel Brand New</em> - which </small><small>apparently </small><small>uniquely for a (The) Stylistics record has both Russell <em>and</em> Airrion singing on it - with the addition of some words scrolling annoyingly along the bottom ?</small><small> </small></p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUfAwwIgpNY" title="Try Not To Think Of Washing Powder"><small>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUfAwwIgpNY</small></a></p>
<p><small>Like the annoying scrolling words but can&#8217;t stand the voices ?</small></p>
<p><small></small><small><a target="_blank" href="http://ronansonlinekaraoke.com/sing.php?id=190" title="Why Wouldn't You ?">http://ronansonlinekaraoke.com/sing.php?id=190</a></small><small><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></small></p>
<p><a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=121" title="The Supporting Cast Gets Two More Members"><small><strong><em>Supporting Cast Update: Oliver, Jamie; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles</em></strong></small></a></p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://248781.spreadshirt.net/en/GB/Shop/Article/Index/article/I-Am-Not-The-Stylistics-9687433" title="I Am Not (The) Stylistics"><img width="79" src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/i-am-notthe-stylistics.thumbnail.jpg" alt="I Am Not (The) Stylistics" height="75" /></a><a target="_blank" href="http://248781.spreadshirt.net/en/GB/Shop/Article/Index/article/I-Am-Not-The-Stylistics-9687433" title="I Am Not (The) Stylistics"></a></p>
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		<title>Kraftwerk - Musique Non Stop - 1986 - EMI</title>
		<link>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=662</link>
		<comments>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=662#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:38:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>I Am Not The Beatles</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[I Am Quite Famous]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Prescient]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Nice Record Sleeve]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Brilliant]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=662</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;


&#8221; And this song is considered a perfect gem,
And as to the meaning, it&#8217;s what you please. &#8220;
 
C.S. Calverley - Ballad

If - like me - the prospect of a good Boing is the kind of thing likely to get you more than just a little excited, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p align="left"> <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=665"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/musique-non-stop-front.thumbnail.jpg" alt="musique-non-stop-front.jpg" /></a></p>
<p align="left">Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;</p>
<p align="left"></p>
<p align="left"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p align="right"><em>&#8221; And this song is considered a perfect gem,<br />
And as to the meaning, it&#8217;s what you please. &#8220;</em><br />
<strong> </strong></p>
<p align="right"><strong>C.S. Calverley - Ballad</strong></p>
<p align="left"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p>If - like me - the prospect of a good <em>Boing</em> is the kind of thing likely to get you more than just a little excited, then you&#8217;re going to love this record. For here is a song with you for the long haul, one which realises that although an accomplished <em>Boingking</em> may be enough to gain your initial attention - only by following such a thing up with some seriously intelligent pillowtalk can any hope of a long term relationship be established.</p>
<p>Thus for every hardworking <em>Boing</em> which is expertly tossed off in your general direction, a roughly equal number of similarly industrious <em>Pings, Booms</em> and <em>Tschaks</em> quickly make themselves known to alchemise any embarrassingly premature <em>overexcitement</em> into the gold of an intellectualised discourse.</p>
<p>This is a brave tactic certainly but also very successful as although, just like any marriage, the <em>Boings</em> do eventually stop, this slowly turns a song which may appear to be an empty soulless void into something rather more interesting - a process not unlike when a new colleague starts work in the office who you find a bit vacant and bland… only to discover two years later that you now inexplicably fancy the pants off them.</p>
<p>For Kraftwerk&#8217;s <em>Booms</em>, unlike Will Smith&#8217;s much more blokey <em>Boom!s</em>, are not here to do anything as mundane as <em>shake the room</em> but instead exist to help you deconstruct the medium of pop music itself and thus create a veritable <em>Love Tschak</em> : a little old place where we can get together and make sweet <em>Musique… Non Stop</em>.</p>
<p>Brilliant.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u></u></strong></p>
<p><strong><u>Aren&#8217;t Kraftwerk More Than Just A Little Bit Famous ?</u></strong></p>
<p>They certainly are and the story of this track is utterly fascinating - as a song called <em>Technopop</em>, which allegedly contained bits of this one, was originally recorded in 1981 for an album of the same name.</p>
<p>That album was never released however as one member of Kraftwerk had become rather oddly obsessed with the mechanics of bicycles at the time and, whilst riding one and presumably ruminating upon the exciting sound the gear change made rather than actually looking where he was bloody well going, he then rather sadly nearly killed himself upon it - putting the entire <em>Technopop</em> project on hold whilst he recovered from his injuries.</p>
<p>And it was during his recovery time that some exciting new digital technologies coincidentally came to the commercial fore and - not wanting their futuristic band to suddenly be consigned to a part of the past - Kraftwerk thus ditched the entire album they had just recorded and recreated it all again in the digital environment instead :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.kraftwerkfaq.com/recordings.html#technopop" title="Can I Buy Technopop ? Errr... No.... Probably.">http://www.kraftwerkfaq.com/recordings.html#technopop</a></p>
<p>As such <em>Musique Non Stop</em> is a place where the band changed, and was therefore mildly controversial in Kraftwerk circles at the time, as it is a song that stands at the crossroads between two worlds - originally created in the analogue world like all their previous music had been, but now <em>recreated</em> and existing in the digital world like all of their (and just about everybody else&#8217;s) music from now on surely would.</p>
<p>In an irony some oh so futuristic Kraftwerk fans didn&#8217;t seem to spot however, alot of them were a bit scared of change - with them being downright suspicious of <em>digitalness</em> generally and therefore this record specifically - with the upshot being that not many people bought this pariah of a record even if it is now considered, for very good reason, to be a bit of a classic.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.headheritage.co.uk/unsung/review/1911" title="This Person Likes It"></a></p>
<p>Want to hear the album which was renamed <em>Electric Cafe </em>? The first three tracks are minimilistic magnificence personified… and terrifyingly prescient of the music that was about to occur :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://tinyurl.com/cfjvgg" title="Listen To It! For Free !">http://tinyurl.com/cfjvgg</a></p>
<p><strong><u></u></strong></p>
<p><strong><u><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></u></strong></p>
<p><strong><u>A Digital Universe In An Analogue World</u></strong></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u></u></strong></p>
<p align="right"><em>&#8221; If I could write the beauty of your eyes<br />
And in fresh numbers number all your graces<br />
The age to come would say, This poet lies;<br />
Such heavenly touches ne&#8217;er touched earthly faces.&#8217; &#8220;</em><br />
<strong> </strong></p>
<p align="right"><strong>William Shakespeare - Sonnet 17</strong></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p>And the importance of the crossroads where this song stands cannot be underestimated.</p>
<p>After all, man&#8217;s ability to manipulate his own environment is what makes him inherently human and is one thing which separates us from being purely animal. In the past however our manipulation had always been within the analogue environment - ie on The Earth, constructing things like stone circles and cathedrals to make our mark upon the land and mould it to our cultural expectations.</p>
<p>The digital domain though is of course entirely different - as here Man has seemingly done the impossible and created what is essentially a totally new universe <em>within the world itself</em> which We are the God of<em>. </em> This new digital universe, unlike our analogue one, can have no actual <em>meaning</em> as part of it&#8217;s make up however as it is constructed purely out of binary numbers (or, to put it another way, any human <em>beauty</em> of any human <em>eyes</em> when placed into it is digitally turned into <em>fresh numbers</em>) :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/mod/resource/view.php?id=187488" title="Totally Fascinating">http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/mod/resource/view.php?id=187488</a></p>
<p><em>&#8220;…a piece of music has meaning for us&#8230; but when we take these things across the boundary, they are stripped of their meaning. They just become numbers, their human associations lost. If their meaning is to be regained, they must be transported back from the digital to the human world.&#8221;</em></p>
<p>As such meaning must thus be plastered <em>onto</em> whatever objects we put in the digital domain and are now <em>transporting back. </em>But the problem with plastering meaning <em>onto</em> objects rather than just having feelings about them is that you end up <em>objectifying</em> them ie your feelings about them become exaggerated - something that Lara Croft can more than attest to.</p>
<p>In Kraftwerk&#8217;s case the <em>transporting back</em> process is just a question of performing the songs they put there, and they thus gain whatever exaggerated meaning we perceive about them at the time. In other words, although <em>&#8220;such heavenly touches ne’er touched earthly faces&#8221;</em> they <em>do</em> touch objectified unearthly ones.</p>
<p>And this is presumably why Kraftwerk inspire such huge devotion, and also why a total of seven spoken words put over a sparse electronic beat with no discernible bassline can feel curiously and oddly emotional - as the meaning of <em>Musique Non Stop</em> is quite literally&#8230; <em>what you please</em> :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/course/view.php?id=1306" title="That OU Course In Full">http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/course/view.php?id=1306</a></p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.kraftwerk.com/" title="I Am Kraftwerk">http://www.kraftwerk.com/</a></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Money Update</u></strong></p>
<p><small><strong>Cost</strong> : 8 pence</small><small><br />
<strong>Current Value :</strong> 3 pounds and 37 pence. Gosh, this wasn&#8217;t just not a hit in the UK but <em>anywhere</em>. Every single country it was released in&#8230; it totally <em>stopped.</em><br />
<strong>Current Profit :</strong> 332 pounds and 55 pence. You, like me, probably ignore this bit these days. But hey, it&#8217;s <em>musique</em> to my ears.<br />
</small></p>
<p><small>Want to hear some cover versions of this song? Make the most of them, this has never happened before. <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=666" title="Musique Still Not Stopping.">Click here</a>.</small></p>
<p><small>Want to hear Karl Bartos&#8217; (a Kraftwerk founder member but now ex-Kraftwerk) fantabulous version of <em>Baby Come Back</em> ? It is almost precisely like <em>Musique Non Stop</em> - but on much stronger drugs :</small></p>
<p><small></small></p>
<p><small><strong>Supporting Cast Update : <em>Smith, Will</em></strong></small></p>
<p><small><a target="_blank" href="http://248781.spreadshirt.net/en/GB/Shop/Article/Index/article/I-Am-Not-Kraftwerk-9687762" title="I Am Not Kraftwerk"><img width="78" src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/i-am-not-kraftwerk.thumbnail.jpg" alt="I Am Not Kraftwerk" height="82" /></a></small></p>
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		<title>Barrington Levy - Struggler - 1987 - 1 Time Records</title>
		<link>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=658</link>
		<comments>http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=658#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Apr 2009 14:14:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>I Am Not The Beatles</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[I Am Quite Famous]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Admit It, You Quite Like It]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=658</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  
Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;


Barrington Levy is having a bit of a struggle.
With what ?
His complaints are many and various, but he appears to be mostly struggling with being able to find enough relevant words to pad out 4 minutes and 42 seconds of music. Indeed, so much of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>  <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?page_id=661"><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/struggler-front.thumbnail.jpg" alt="struggler-front.jpg" /></a></p>
<p>Click above for big pictures, click below to play me&#8230;</p>
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong>Barrington Levy is having a bit of a <em>struggle</em>.</strong></p>
<p>With what ?</p>
<p><strong>His complaints are many and various, but he appears to be mostly <em>struggling </em>with being able to find enough relevant words to pad out 4 minutes and 42 seconds of music. Indeed, so much of a <em>struggle </em>is it that - despite his numerous claims that he&#8217;ll <em>never give up</em> - he soon does exactly this when he resorts to enunciating a series of <em>Wop Diddle Dee Doo Bops</em> within just 45 seconds of the song starting, and then repeating them with increasingly alarming regularity throughout.</strong></p>
<p><strong>This is an overcompensation from which Barrington sadly never quite recovers, as around the 3 minute mark he even starts <em>struggling</em> with his ability to be able to <em>that </em>successfully and starts to trip over his own <em>Diddles</em> - which is a messy experience at the best of times.</strong></p>
<p>Maybe he is just a bit stressed ?</p>
<p><strong>He is certainly that alright and for very good reason - as he woke up this morning to make the frankly disturbing discovery that he had run out of tea.</strong></p>
<p><em>Bloody Hell.</em></p>
<p><strong>And terrifying though this thought is for just about anybody to contemplate, Barrington has an added complication…</strong></p>
<p>I get the feeling I am going to <em>struggle </em>to believe this…</p>
<p><strong>… and this is that Barrington is capable of perceiving both the past <em>and</em> the future simultaneously - thus making his present moment a rather uncertain one.</strong></p>
<p>Unbelevyable!</p>
<p><strong>This is evidenced in the first verse where he claims that he is currently able to recall both waking up this morning <em>and </em>waking up tomorrow - and this confusion makes any presumptions about any perceived tea or lack thereof laughably difficult to pinpoint. After all he may not have any tea right <em>now, </em>but what if he has already bought some in the future thus making any quick trip to the shops wholly redundant? </strong></p>
<p><strong>Faced with such a chronological conundrum Barrington thus chooses the only sensible solution available to him… and very wisely <em>struggles</em> back to bed to moan about some other things instead.</strong></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>What Else Does Barrington Moan About ?</u></strong></p>
<p>Shitloads.</p>
<p>Everything from the fact that he is currently the owner of only one half of a pair of shoes, to the rather strange complaint that he considers himself morally incapable of being a thief. Odd though this latter moan is, the one I must take issue with is where he states that he finds it impossible to <em>make love on a hungry belly.</em></p>
<p>This must surely be very much in doubt - as I can promise you that if there is one thing men are most definitely capable of if they are given even the merest <em>hint </em>of any action, it is attempting to have sex with just about anybody… <em>hungry belly</em> or not.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Any Major Levylations As A Result Of This Record ?</u></strong></p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>This song is an example of the<em> dancehall</em> genre which originated in the 1970&#8217;s in Jamaica.</p>
<p>Now, <em>dancehall </em>is, by its very nature, in existence to make you <em>dance</em> - very possibly in a <em>hall</em> if you&#8217;re lucky enough to be in one at the time - but some people take it very seriously indeed and blame it for both social deterioration and increased violence in the place of its birth.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that just about every musical genre has been accused of this at some point in its life so the answer is already blindingly obvious - ie it&#8217;s probably a bit more complicated than that - why not read this essay called <em>“So wha, mi nuh fi live to?”: Interpreting Violence in Jamaica through the Dancehall Culture</em>. It essentially argues that, if you are Jamaican, then both you and <em>dancehall </em>are products of the same culture and therefore both you and it are going to exhibit many of the same characteristics of each other.</p>
<p>With this in mind if you dislike <em>dancehall</em> for the reasons stated above, it suggests this is only because you recognise secreted parts of yourself within it and it is thus probably a good idea if you swallow your pride, initiate some sort of group hug, chuck some on the stereo anyway and have a bloody good dance to forget about it all.</p>
<p>A bit like the plot to <em>Footloose </em>then, but with longer words :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.ragashanti.com/articles/Ideaz.pdf" title="The Politics Of Dancing">http://www.ragashanti.com/articles/Ideaz.pdf</a></p>
<p>Anyway Barrington himself, like <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=375" title="It's Hot Over There...">Jean Beauvoir</a> before him, was an early musical developer - releasing his first single under the pseudonym <em>Mighty Multitide</em> when he was just 13 years old. It would then take him just another 7 years or so to become the biggest star in the country at a stupidly young age, is still huge today and is seen as a massive influence to many :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.barringtonlevy.com/" title="Levylation Time... Come On !">http://www.barringtonlevy.com/</a></p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://springlinejamaica.blogspot.com/2008/09/barrington-levy.html" title="The Incredibly Detailed Detail">http://springlinejamaica.blogspot.com/2008/09/barrington-levy.html</a></p>
<p>Interestingly, the second link above tells us a tale about the way record companies view their relevant markets and how this naivety can directly impact upon what becomes popular - as at one point Barrington recorded an album where he collaborated with other people. In the UK this was released with the slightly edgy title of <em>&#8216;Barrington Levy&#8217;s DJ Counteraction&#8217; </em>and it did reasonably well. In the US however they took one at at, didn&#8217;t really understand the title, then panicked a bit before finally deciding to tamely downgrade it to … <em>&#8216;Duets&#8217;.</em></p>
<p>And how did it do there ?</p>
<p>Yep : It <em>struggled.</em></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Can Barrington Levy Really See Into The Future ?</u></strong></p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>But only because, if Professor Mark Changizi is to be believed, then we all do this all the time - as we are all forever seeing about one tenth of a second into the future and predicting what will happen. This is, he claims, where hallucinations (such as ghosts) come from where our predicted future doesn&#8217;t match up with the reality of it :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.impactlab.com/2008/05/18/humans-can-see-into-the-future/" title="Hmmm. I Wonder How True This Is ?">http://www.impactlab.com/2008/05/18/humans-can-see-into-the-future/</a></p>
<p>Fascinating though that is, others believe they will soon be able to prove beyond all doubt that we all most definitely have a fully developed sixth sense that can do so <em>so</em> much more.</p>
<p><strong>Important I Am Not The Beatles Warning</strong></p>
<p>The following article contains the potentially deadly cocktail of words <em>&#8216;paranormal researchers&#8217;</em> and <em>&#8216;The Daily Mail&#8217;</em> :</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-452833/Is-REALLY-proof-man-future.html" title="WE'RE ALL PSYCHIC!">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-452833/Is-REALLY-proof-man-future.html</a></p>
<p><img src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/white_space.jpg" alt="." /></p>
<p><strong><u>Money Update</u></strong></p>
<p><small><strong>Cost :</strong> 8 pence<br />
<strong>Current Value :</strong> Barrington may well be s<em>truggling</em> with lots of stuff, but his second hand market is certainly buoyant - 5 pounds and 35 pence - which puts him in 9th place and sandwiches him between <a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=369" title="Sudden Sway Sing A Song">Sudden Sway</a> and<a href="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/?p=80" title="Luba Gets Murdered"> Luba</a> value-wise.<br />
<strong>Current Profit :</strong> 232 pounds and 26 pence. Want to hear a bit more Barrington ? </small><small>Here is the very lovely You Have Caught Me :</small></p>
<p><small></small></p>
<p><small>And if you like that, why not pop off to Amazon to buy his Greatest Hits ?</small></p>
<p align="left"><small><a target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/Too-Experienced-Best-Barrington-Levy/dp/B00000E9KP" title="He Is Too Experienced">http://www.amazon.com/Too-Experienced-Best-Barrington-Levy/dp/B00000E9KP</a></small></p>
<p><small></small></p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://248781.spreadshirt.net/en/GB/Shop/Article/Index/article/9206794" title="I Am Not Barrington Levy"><img width="78" src="http://www.iamnotthebeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/i-am-not-barrington-levy.thumbnail.jpg" alt="I Am Not Barrington Levy" height="87" style="width: 78px; height: 87px" /></a><a target="_blank" href="http://248781.spreadshirt.net/en/GB/Shop/Article/Index/article/9206794" title="I Am Not Barrington Levy"></a></p>
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